I do not like to sugar coat my life. I have been working since that day I found that job in Doha (which is more like my ‘home’ country) and never took a break in my life. I used to bring my daughter to work 2 weeks after I gave birth, Yes! You heard me 2 weeks! At 2 weeks I was up, driving, working, you name it! I just feel like, why take a rest and slow down your life? Life is too short to slack off.
I have been reading several books and articles on pregnancy and parenting and most of the parents would say: You’re life will change after you give birth. I didn’t believe that, I mean how can “I” change? This is me! Boy, did I prove myself wrong! After my daughter was born… no one was as important as she is in my life and I would trade anything and give-up everything for her!
Wow! This is even more than the love I have felt for my husband! It’s just amazing!
We have decided to come back to Manila and we’ve been here for 5 years. All throughout those years I have devoted myself to provide and work for my family. It was pretty unconventional for a Filipino Family like us. Let me get this straight. A typical Filipino Family is like this: Father is the provider, Mom stays at home (if they can) and usually do all household chores lucky if they can afford a maid!
The thought of doing household chores??? So not me! I am not domesticated, I like to look pretty and dress up pretty, I like to go to the mall, I love to shop, and I like to do everything that I can do OUT-OF-THE-HOUSE. What’s next? Role reversal. My husband became a stay-at-home-dad while I provide for the family. It was tough, it was getting on my nerves most of the time, it was financially rewarding BUT there’s still a piece of me that was constantly missing.
I resigned from one job to the other and had a total of 3 jobs in 5 years. Not bad eh? You know that feeling when you entered a company and initially you would feel like this is it and then after 2 months bleh… I don’t like it anymore, I am depressed, I don’t like this, I don’t like that… I don’t belong here hearing myself over and over and over. I am annoyed what more my husband, my friends my colleagues???
There is that one piece that just cannot complete me. I miss the role of being a wife…what’s worst is that I feel like, I have never been a MOM to my kid. 😦
A lot might disagree with my decision, some might think I am crazy, to others I may not make any sense. As level headed as anybody could be, we make our own happiness and my happiness is not dictated by material things, a mansion or a car. My happiness is as simple as I am. It is to spend each day with the people I love the most. Yes, we do argue, yes we might be in a financial crisis right now because of my decision to leave my job BUT we are searching for a way to straighten the things we have done in the past. This simple role reversal has now taught my husband to search for jobs to provide for us on the other hand, I learned to cook oh and a whole lot more!
It’s nerve wracking. I sometimes lose my sanity but at the end of the day when I hear an “I love you” from my daughter or a simple “Mmmmm, this is delicious” or “You’re my best friend Mom” – I couldn’t be any happier!
What a rewarding JOB I have found!!!
Disclaimer: I never said, I will not go back to work again. Maybe someday but not now!